JAPAN!!!!!!!

HOKKAIDO/TOKYO 7 DEC - 15 DEC 2016

Japan have been nothing but amazing.

You will or will not find something useful here, but we're always open for any model-for-hire opportunities

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DAY 0: Flight/Transfer

It was a wonderful FREAKING 4:30 AM ON A WEDNESDAY and we had to pull our shit together and reach the airport to check in for our flight.

Anyway everything went on pretty smoothly and nice. We bade our farewells to our loved ones, it wasn't as emotional as the drama and I did try to act like one but I failed because I am a heartless creature. Faith Tay, the other companion for this trip, smiled with her beautiful teeth.

We waited at the gates for some time and tried to guess if any of the passengers waiting as well were part of our tour group (Yes, we went with a tour group because we are swag like that). But we failed miserably on our guesses and deductive skills and I guess everyone should thank heavens we are not part of the police or detective force or you all will be paying taxes for nothing.

(Right is fattan. Left is fat tay)

(me looking swag)

We took Delta Airline from Singapore to Tokyo. Flight wasn't that bad and the in flight entertainments, which included movies and some games, made the 7 hour trip a little less boring (Although at one point of time, Tay's screen froze and she couldn't used it for a while. Pretty sure it was still worth it when she had saved almost three movie tickets during the flight)

(A picture from the lovely bus)

I am surprised you are still reading this crap but hola, we have reached TOKYO!!! The clouds were low compared to Singapore or maybe because I was too high from excitement being in the land of hentai. Anyway, the tour bus then brought us to Narita airport because Tokyo wasn't the first destination to hang out. We were going to HOKKAIDO first. We can only suppress our hentai agony and leave for the snow heaven!!!

The flight wasn't long but we were dead tired by the time we reached Hokkaido. It was barely reaching 7pm but the sky was so dark as if it's in the middle of the night. Obviously it was cold, but certainly still much more tolerable than Singapore's burning hot weather. The guide told us there wouldn't be any eateries near the hotel we are staying at so we had no choice but to eat at the airport. There's a sort of basement shopping mall just below the airport and there's LOTS of stuff and food there. We ended up deciding on Ramen because nothing can go wrong with Ramen.

(Can't rmb the exact price but it's cheaper than a regular bowl of Ramen in Singapore. And the portion was HUGE.)

(Model for hire)

After dinner it's time to go back the hotel. So basically the "first" day in Japan was spent on travelling and shit but this was the life we have signed up for. We stayed in this place called the Chitose Airport Hotel and it was pretty cramped. It barely fitted our two luggage though lmao but the free wifi sort of healed our soul.

But before we hit the bed we went to the convenience store!!!11!!! It was like literally the first thing we said on the bus when we saw it across the hotel and before we even checked into our room. Ramen wasn't enough, apparently. Time to get more shitzzz and drugsss

(The choices for drinks were INSANE. there's even a section for hot drinks too, which is darn cool and perfect for the weather in Hokkaido)

(smiling like a pig)

(fattan caring about the loots more than anything else)

(I cry)

DAY 1: Otaru Canal, Otaru Music Box Museum, Ishiya Chocolate Factory & Sapporo Mitsui Outlet Park Outlet Mall 

Freaking morning call.

And then time for breakfast! Didn't manage to take a picture but it's a normal and simple buffet style. The typical omelet and sausages but it's still nice because it's buffet. Nothing beats a buffet. The more special stuff that are uniquely in Japan would be the miso soup, udon and tamago etc. 

After the buffet, we set of to Otaru Canal! If you've researched about Hokkaido it shouldn't be uncomman to see or hear about Otaru Canal. It's like a landmark or something that you-must-go in Hokkaido, I supposed?

(Anyway we got more supply of food from the connivence store after breakfast and tried this on the way there. I cry)

(It started to snow when we reached there and it was freaking cold. Heat pads save life)

(Wow so peaceful and serene... jk. There's a lot of people on land, especially tourists. Perhaps if it's warmer some of them might go in for a dip lol)

(looking swag 2)

Everything is better when there is snow. Snow is great
Overall it's a beautiful  place to: take picture with ur loved ones; and pose nicely for it to be instaworthy.
But for our circumstances, it was a no for both scenarios.

After the canal we then took a ride to the next destination, which was the Otaru Music Box Museum! 

(Lots of music boxes, ranging from big to small and all sorts of different sizes. Some came in plush toys and even sushi. It's really cute, but the price is equally as cute as well. Good place to buy souvenirs, but only for people that are worth ur money, unless you're a rich asshole)

(BTW, their level of  customer service there is over the top. Singapore definitely lost, just like WW2. lol sorry)

(It's really pretty inside and outside the museum. Lots of nice places to take pictures though. It's either the model or the cameraman's fault if ur picture turns out ugly) 

(There's some time left before meeting the rest of the tour group so.... MATCHA ICE CREAM! It was snowing briefly for a moment so my ice cream got even cuter. I rmb it cost around SGD$5. Definitely overpriced, but thats what u get when the area is a tourist attraction)

(We had this for lunch shortly after and gosh, the fish was HUGE as my face)

(And there's moreeeee)

So after lunch we then headed off to Ishiya Chocolate Factory! One of the perks for getting tour is not worrying about transport, but then it's easy to get fat  because you're sitting most of the time when getting from one place to another. ANYWAY-

(Clouds were low and cute)

(We are here!)

(Hi)

(Second round of ice cream GAHHH. I didn't manage to get a picture of the advertisement for this parfait cone but omg, it's an exact replica of it. Literally. There's other tidbits and treats sold here and there, such as the famous White Lover Chocolates)

Afterwards, we were off to Sapporo Mitsui Outlet Park Outlet Mall. (Note that there is no exclamation mark. lol jk)

There's different tons of well known brands in the shopping mall, but being the poor lads, we didn't do much during the three hours there. We found a convenience store somewhere in the mall and spent more time inside compared to any shops in the mall lol. 

It's a great place to shop for shoppers out there, but also a great place for me to realize our ability to talk shit like those times we spent at the bus stop after school hadn't seemed to deteriorate yet. 

(To give the mall some credit, there's an abundance of Gashapon there to entertain us for a bit)

Anyway, after roaming some more in the mall, we also came across an artist booth and we decided to get some shit done. And btw the artist is cute too.

(AWWW! It cost differently depending on the number of people inside the drawing)

After shopping, we're alive for dinner! Food is always my calling

(It's something similar like Sukiya's Shabu Shabu but believe it or not, the "soup" at Sukiya has more flavour than the one we tried in the picture. It was actually water??? Nonetheless, it's sort of to atone the sins of calories we had earlier in the day anyway. Free wifi too woohoo)

DAY 2: Shiraoi Ainu Village & Noboribetsu Date Jidai Mura 

freaking morning call again.

After some nice breakfast it's time for us to get ready and go to our next destination, we're heading to Shiraoi Ainu Village. Like the name, it's quite something similar like a cultural visit.

(Bus ride: There's more and more snow and lesser and lesser buildings!)

 (On our way there the bus stopped for a pee break. Came down to take a picture of our half-hearted heart to represent that we seemed gay but actually straight)

(The entrance of the village! It's snowing and also much heavier than before)

(I'm pretty sure the guide is hating on us because we were taking our damn sweet time)

(A little snippet of the performance inside. As expected, I am an uncultured swine who knows nothing but takes out camera to film like the rest)

(Rounder than a snowball)

(dandruff galore)

There was actually a bear ranch at the back of the village but because we were too busy doing nothing but roll in snow we missed the chance to explore. 

After the visit we went for lunchiieeeeeee, which is located right beside the Noboribetsu Date Jidai Mura, which is also known as Ninja Village.

(Hey hey samurai heart)

(I guessed we went in earlier than most of the people so it was pretty quiet and aesthetically pleasing wherever you looked.)

(CUTE)

(There's also the fortune-telling paper strip available. I got mine but up till now, I still have no idea what it meant since it's all in Japanese)

(There's around four performances show all afternoon and even though you couldn't understand Japanese, the action was pretty much interesting enough)

(Besides performance, there's also some game houses, which is similarly like a theme park, but in ninja style; Shuriken throwing games, "haunted house" etc)

Afterward we ended our day and went back to a new hotel! This was the first hotel to provide us onsen and also the Yukata outfit for us to use after onsen or to just linger around the hotel. You're not supposed to wear any clothes inside except for your undergarments. So if you're uncouth and like to spread your legs wide, like me, then prepare to be like a slut.

DAY 3: Jigokudani (Hell Valley) & Rusutsu Resort 

And here we are after checking out of our hotel; Hell Valley. It stinks with some chemical smell, for most part, but I'll let the pictures explain better than my primary 2 composition writing.

(The scenery is the bomb, photos just don't do justice.)

(we risked our life walking on ice just to see this crater)

(cool kid and n3rd-try!ng-h@rd-2-b-c00l kid)

(lighting on point)

After all the hard work of walking and taking photos, we sat on a long ass ride to Rustusu Resort, a ski resort in the middle of nowhere but lots of snow. On the way of our long ass trip we stopped to take a pee break and of course, get more stuff from the convenience  store that was luckily available.

(Takoyaki from vending machine)

Before we get on our ski stuff, we EAT again WOOHOOOOOOO. Another plain water shabu shabu and weird green slime but i always smile because... food.

The process of wearing the ski equipment is NO JOKE. The boots were shit, but there wasn't a choice because the boots are technically ski boots and it was meant to be like this but BOY... I'm pretty sure just walking in those boots burnt off all the pork that I ate before that.

(So we went to snow-tubing first. Her closed eyes represent how much she finds the tubing boring because hell yeah it was. And the climbing up part was the death of me. But hey, we're still alive)

(After snow-tubing we went to ski! Another no joke game because we are totally not trained for this shit. But it was still fun though, at least better than snow-tubing)

(as what kong zi said the ppl who laugh and smile the most... r the ppl who r broken inside...)

After burning 2000 calories, we went to an Italian restaurant with the food tickets that the tour guide gave us and eat around 5000 calories back. It was great. 

(The goddamn water taste better than their $7 sparkling garbage water. But as what kong zi said, we must not bottle up our hate)

Day 4: Lake Toya/Mt. Usu and Bear Ranch
After another buffet breakfast, we then checked out to head to Lake Toya, where Mt. Usu is located as well. But before we reached, we made a stop at Lake-Hill Farm to take a break AND eat again. We just had breakfast for God's sake but we couldn't resist and got ice cream.

(Tried something a little bit different; milk tea and sea salt ice cream. I cry)

(Their backyard. Just a sea of snow, damn chio and insta-worthy pls)

After the redundant and and sinful-calories break we board the bus to... get more food, which was lunch. The restaurant we ate is located just next to Lake Toya but we didn't have enough time to check it out. We were too busy loitering the the souvenir/food shop and getting more food. This is our destiny.

(The meal we shared among 4 people. The seafood delicacies were almost as abundance as the number of boyfriends we had in total; = zero)

After which, we then took a short bus ride to the ropeway station to bring us to the Mt Usu. At that point of time we were early so the trip up wasn't as packed as compared to the time we came down.

(They nicely supplied some coats at the top because our attire may not be enough for us, which was true. It was negative 7 degrees then)

Shortly after we descended to the bottom of Mt Usu and be alive, we walked a short distance to the Bear Ranch located nearby. 

Most online reviews mentioned the (bad) conditions of the bear ranch and how tourists should stop visiting the place etc etc, which I wouldn't deny, but I doubt that would put any effect on the living conditions of the bears. The only change you can make is to sponsor money and build a resort for them. So if you can't do it, then forget it. Might as well visit and buy some treats to feed the bears so at least they get a little fatter for winter. 

(The bear knows some cute shitz stunts to beg for food like standing up on their hind legs and shaking their paws.)

Day 5: Sapporo Nijo Fresh Seafood Market, Tokeidai Clock Tower, Sapporo TV Tower & Sapporo Underground Shopping 

Rise and shine and saw a fatass seagull standing outside out hotel balcony. Hello. (The balcony is shared among all the other neighbours so make sure to lock the damn sliding doors. unless you're the creepy one that everyone warns about)

After breakfast we zoom zoom to the Seafood Market blub blub

(The market is literally seafood market with all the seafood you can find. There's also plenty of food souvenirs shops around, which also sell dried seafood stuff that may or may not be only available to be purchased there)

(We didn't get to try this even though we were ironically in a seafood market. Aww.... It looks oishi though...)

(We previously bought masks from the hotel because our lips were cracked and ugly, just like our dreams and bank accounts. Please prepare lip balm if travelling to a cold country.)

(The pigeons here are fat as hell. We have found out home gang)

We had lunch at an alleyway filled with ramen shops, and decided to stop at a small one which claims that they had one Michelin star.

Sea Salt Ramen

(It was okay, although the store is worth one Michelin star. Perhaps the other Ramen choices were the real kick for the star, but ugh couldn't remember the store's name)

(A nice, peaceful picture in front of the Clock Tower, which was ruined by fattan ugly existence)

(There was this food fair nearby so we dropped a visit but we only stayed for a short while because we could hear the tour guide chanting his hatred in our brain)

(Didn't technically visit the TV Tower but only look at it from a distance. Psst' we got scammed lmao)

After those picture taking sessions, we were brought to the Underground Mall and was dumped by the tour guide for approximately three hours before he came back to fetch us for dinner. The mall was darned huge, with lots of levels to explore but we didn't have much time, not even when we had three hours. There's lots of shops available, ranging from clothes, department stores, branded shoe shops and many MANY more. The types were endless. But what's special about this mall, perhaps, is the Pokemon Centre. 

(This Pokemon Centre really strives to support different races and build a joint community from all over the world! For example; Their Squirtle has different types of skin colour variations, such as a Chinese Squirtle and also an Indian Squirtle)

After the long ass shopping (wait), we then went for a BBQ buffet. They serve a good variety of meat and side dishes but apparently... we failed to get the address down because we are shitty bloggers like that.

(Yum yum is yum)

Day 6: Hokkaido --> Tokyo, Akihabara

After nearly a week, it's time to say goodbye to snow heaven and say hello to Tokyo :')

(The last snow we saw before take off)

The temperature in Tokyo was much better in terms of us not having to use heat pads to survive. It was pretty odd at first to see that there was a lack of snow everywhere, but it was still lovely!!! 

(The view from the hotel room; Tokyo Dome Hotel)

(Our first meal in Tokyo. We tried self-ordering through this vending-machine system! Good way to get rid of our coins)

(Took our first subway to... Akihabara: Hentai Town)

(Hentai Town definitely live up to its name)

There were LOTS of different parts and sections of Akihabara we had yet to explore and it already took us almost half a day. Akihabara is filled with five/six story buildings, the first floor is usually for selling anime figurines or serve as 'Pachinko parlours' (Arcades that are filled with games similar to slot machines).

Second floors are dedicated for merchandise, like key chains, souvenirs and any other accessories.

The subsequent third story is for manga and lastly, the top floors are where you can find all the tiko middle aged uncles. The upper stories is restricted only to adults and is a haven of M18 doujins, where perverted fantasies about your OTPs come true. As we are already 20, we could enter the 'sacred' adult place, where we truly had an eye-opening experience. We had to use bleach on our eyes afterwards. Take note though, you might feel out of place on the top floors as there is little to no people there, you might spot two or three uncles but that is it. But who cares right? Praise the porn.

(This was on the second floor(Merch Floor) where there's no titties for us to look at. Aww!)

(Lots of Gashapon around too!)

Day 7: Harajuku & Shinjuku

The place was crowded with tourists and locals alike. Didn't really see any much bizarre/eccentrically dressed people, which many claimed that Harajuku would be filled with (perhaps it was due to the winter season), but I guess we already find it bizarre enough when we look at each other's faces.

We only passed by one or two crepe shops and we (or more like fattan,) couldn't resist the cravings for crepes. There's tons of choices available, especially the sweet-flavoured ones, ranging from tiramisu to chocolate cakes but fattay tried the savoury-flavoured; pizza, which she rated 7/10 and will eat again (dog face).

SWEET BOX

We also dropped by Candy A Go Go. It really made my money a Go Go out of my wallet! Stuffs are cute but it's simply just chocolates and sweets (Similarly to Mini Toons in Singapore). But well, Avril Lavigne visited this place so mai siao siao and don't play play. 

We loitered a bit here and there and also dropped by Calbee Plus. Lots of special flavours are exclusively sold here which you definitely will not find in Singapore, and there's the takeaway chips where they actually fry your chips on the spot and serve them to you hot. I wondered why we didn't eat that and kind of forgot the reason. Maybe we were trying to save on the calories, and that was really stupid when it was pointless from the beginning when we first stepped into Japan.

Walk walk walk and then !!! Our eyes landed upon a sign "Bengal Cat Forest" There's also an Owl Forest, which was pretty cool, and there's actually a chance for to go for both at a discounted rate but we were a little skeptical about the owl cafe, so we chose to go to the Bengal Cat Forest instead. 

As per any other cat cafe, the house rules are that you have to remove your footwear and replace them with slippers supplied to you by the cafe staff. Make sure that your belongings are placed in a corner and take care as to not feed the cats food that you have brought in from the outside. The place was well-kept and there is a complimentary drink given upon entering which you have to pick from a vending machine inside the cafe.

(Cats, of course, like to ignore you)

(Cats, of course, like to sleep)

(Cats, of course, like to stare at each other like they want to fight for no apparent reason)

(I'm pretty sure most cats were annoyed by our existence in their pussy world)

And then we were hungry and went to the first few shops we saw. The menu was pretty clear despite us being illiterate in Japanese and the staffs were bilingual with great hand sign skills than a local thug so the ordering process is much more easier.

Udon Hanamaru Harajukutakeshitadori

(I cry)

After eating, we continued on our way to be alive and saw some huge-ass candy floss hanging by a sign outside a shop and we decided to try it because YOLO to diabetes, right?

'Frozen Popcorn - Sweet XO Good Grief'

(Good grief, could their name be any better? Ok lame but yeah, their shop actually specialise more in their different flavoured types of popcorns, not that I'm saying their candy floss isn't great. I mean candy floss is just... candy floss lmao)

After shopping for some clothes and food we then set off to Shinjuku by foot because... why not? It was some good exercise and cute buildings/alleys to look at. 

(farts)

By the time we'd reached Shinjuku the sky had went to beyond darkness, though it really emphasise on the lighting around the area, which was pretty cool. 

(Similar like Orchard Road in Singapore. City-like infrastructures with lots of classy departmental stores around)

We were aimlessly walking about when we spotted a rather similar building to the ones we saw in Akihabara. (Bright flashy lights and a Pachinko parlour on the first floor) Lured in by the prospect that there will hentai in the building, we entered it....and chanced upon a neoprint store! The neoprint section is located at the second floor and the whole area was basically dedicated to it! The neoprint booth you take at SCAPE cost around $10 ugh, but the print cost there is only SGD$5, half the price in SG! Lots of cute features, although they seriously enlarged our eyes too much, like some goldfish witnessing its wife having an affair or some sort.

(This looks gay and plastic-surgery-ish. Damn)

(Which is worse??? fucking gay la)

Day 8: End

And SO.... it was the last day of our Japan trip. Spent the early afternoon eating breakfast, packing our stuff and took one last walk around the hotel, which is right beside Tokyo Dome. We had some spare time so we decided to visit this place called the Koishikawa Korakuen Garden that was a stone's throw away from our hotel.

Entrance of Koishikawa Korakuen Garden

Due to time constraint and the fact that there's a need for entrance fees, we walked off like some married men who couldn't afford prostitute; sad and deprived from lovely joy, which is true, because gosh, I did a little image search and it's really pretty in there! Oh well, I can only say ohayo bye bye

(Being a piece of stupid shit)

This marks the end of our trip and technically the end our our Japan review blog as well. I want to congratulate your patiences for going through the post and till the end of the page but anyway, Japan is forever 10/10 although the tour agency need to stop lying 2/10